Thoughts from a Therapist
How to Choose a Safe, Qualified Therapist in a World Full of Online Advice | Therapy with Emma
Published May 8, 2026
We live in a time where mental health conversations are more visible than ever before. In many ways, I think that’s a really positive thing. People are speaking more openly about anxiety, trauma, relationships, burnout, self-worth, and emotional well-being. Conversations that once stayed hidden are now happening daily across social media.
But alongside this rise in awareness, I’m conscious of something else growing...
More and more people are positioning themselves as experts in healing, trauma, psychology, nervous system regulation, and behaviour change without formal therapeutic training or recognised qualifications behind them.
Often these are people who have been through difficult life experiences themselves... perhaps a relationship breakdown, burnout, grief, addiction, or a period of emotional struggle, and have genuinely learned valuable things from their own journey. I want to say clearly that lived experience absolutely has value. Peer support, coaching, mentoring, and sharing personal experiences can all be incredibly helpful and meaningful.
But counselling and psychotherapy are something different.
And I think, as the public, we must understand that difference.
The Difference Between Support and Therapy
There is nothing unethical about being a coach, mentor, or someone who shares their lived experience to help others.
The concern begins when people present themselves as qualified to work therapeutically with trauma, mental health difficulties, emotional dysregulation, or deep psychological wounds without the clinical training needed to safely hold that work.
In the UK, titles such as counsellor, therapist and psychotherapist are not legally protected in the same way as some other healthcare professions. This can sometimes make it difficult for people seeking support to understand who has undertaken recognised professional training, supervision, and ethical practice, and who may be working primarily from personal experience alone.
That’s why I believe it’s so important for people to feel informed and empowered to ask questions about qualifications, professional memberships and training before therapeutic work.
Therapy is not simply giving advice, sharing opinions, or repeating information learned online.
A qualified therapist is trained not only in theory and interventions, but in:
- ethical practice
- relational dynamics
- safeguarding
- trauma awareness
- risk assessment
- boundaries
- nervous system responses
- working with complex emotions
- and understanding when someone may need additional or specialist support
Perhaps most importantly, therapists are trained to hold emotional space thoughtfully, ethically, and with an awareness of risk
What It Actually Takes to Become a Qualified Therapist
Many people may not realise the depth of training therapists go through before qualifying.
My own journey began with a foundation year in psychology at the university of Derby (level 3), followed by a BSc in Counselling & Psychotherapy (levels 4, 5 and 6), which required a further three years of university study. That training involved not only academic work, but over a hundred hours of clinical placement, working directly with clients under supervision.
Those hours are often unpaid, yet therapists wholeheartedly commit to them because safe practice matters.
Alongside clinical work, therapists are also expected to invest and engage in:
- regular clinical supervision
- Ongoing professional development (CPD)
- ethical frameworks
- reflective practice
- and often their own personal therapy
Even now, after qualifying, my learning continues. I’m currently studying trauma through a course with The Open University, and in September I’ll be returning to university to begin a Master’s in Behaviour Change.
For many therapists, learning never really stops… because people’s emotional well-being deserves to be held with care, responsibility, and humility.
Why This Matters
The difficulty is that social media can sometimes blur the lines between:
- education
- inspiration
- coaching
- and therapy
A confident online presence does not always equal competence.
Someone may speak very well about trauma, attachment, nervous system regulation, or healing… but that does not necessarily mean they have the training required to work safely with vulnerable people.
And when someone is struggling emotionally, overwhelmed, or searching for answers, it can be difficult to know who is genuinely qualified to help. I thought it would be useful to share some insight into where to look for a qualified therapist and what to look for in one.
What to Look for in a Qualified Therapist
If you’re considering therapy, here are some gentle but important questions you can ask:
What qualifications do they hold?
Look for recognised qualifications such as:
- BSc in Counselling & Psychotherapy
- Degrees in Integrative Counselling or Psychotherapy
- MSc or MA-level therapeutic training
- PHD or doctorate in therapeutic training
Are they registered with a professional body?
In the UK, many qualified therapists are members of organisations such as:
- British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP)
These organisations require ethical standards, supervision, and ongoing professional development.
Are they insured and supervised?
Qualified therapists should have:
- professional indemnity insurance
- regular clinical supervision
- clear ethical frameworks
Can you verify their credentials?
The following Trusted directories require therapists to provide evidence of qualifications before joining.
- Counselling Directory
- Psychology Today
So, if a therapist is advertising on here, they hold some form of recognised qualification.
Do they work within their competence?
A good therapist will understand the limits of their training and refer on where appropriate.
This is actually a sign of professionalism, not weakness.
Therapy Is More Than Advice
One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it’s simply about being told what to do.
In reality, therapy is often about:
- being deeply heard
- understanding patterns
- exploring relationships
- working safely with emotions
- learning to regulate the nervous system
- building self-awareness
- and creating meaningful, lasting change
A therapist is not there to “fix” you... they are there to walk alongside you with training, ethics, compassion, and professional responsibility.
Choosing Support That Feels Safe
The internet can be a wonderful place for inspiration and learning. But when it comes to your mental health, it’s important to choose support carefully.
You deserve someone who not only speaks confidently about healing but who has the training, supervision, ethical grounding, and clinical understanding to support you safely. And perhaps more importantly, someone who recognises the responsibility that comes with holding another person’s emotional world.
A Gentle Reflection
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by online advice lately, perhaps ask yourself:
- Does this person have recognised training?
- Are they offering support within their competence?
- Do I feel emotionally safe consuming their content?
- Am I receiving genuine therapeutic support, or simply opinions, presented confidently?
Final Thoughts
There is absolutely a space in this world for coaches, mentors, educators, and people sharing lived experience.
But therapy is a profession built on training, ethics, accountability, and years of ongoing learning. And when people place their mental health into someone else’s hands, I believe that distinction matters.
If you’re considering therapy and would like a warm, supportive space to explore things at your own pace, I offer a free 15-minute consultation.
A chance to discuss your issues, ask questions, and see if we feel like the right fit, and begin gently from there.
Warmly,
Emma
Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Therapy with Emma
Photo credit: Emma Kenmuir.
The photo shows a warm, inviting space at Therapy with Emma.
Learning to Trust the Process | Therapy with Emma
Published Apr 2, 2026
There’s a particular feeling that can come with this time of year… a sense that something is shifting, but not quite settled yet.
You might notice it in yourself; some days may feel lighter, more hopeful, and others may feel heavy again. A sense of movement, but without any real clear direction. It can feel confusing, at times, even disheartening. And often, we can find ourselves questioning it… “Am I moving forward, or going backwards?”
When we look outside, April reflects this perfectly.
One day brings warmth and sunshine, the next hail, wind, or rain. In the UK, we are used to seeing every season, sometimes in one day! It’s unpredictable, changeable, and not quite ready to settle. In many ways, this mirrors the process of therapy and of growth itself. Because as much as we might wish otherwise, growth is rarely neat or linear... It can feel messy.
We often begin a journey of change with hope, a sense that things will start to feel clearer, lighter, easier. But what many people don’t expect is what can often happen in the middle. That in-between space where things are shifting slowly, but not yet settled. Where old patterns are being questioned, but new ways of being haven’t quite taken root. It can feel uncomfortable. Uncertain. At times, sometimes even like you’re going backwards.
It’s easy for our minds to search for certainty in these moments.. to try and label things as either “better” or “worse”, but growth rarely fits neatly into either. This is something the lovely Brené Brown speaks about, how difficult it can be to sit in the unknown, and how quickly we can interpret that discomfort as failure, rather than recognising it as part of growth.
But the truth is, this messy, uncertain middle… is often where the real work is happening, and it's about learning to trust the process.
For me, healing has never been linear. I can sometimes notice within myself a tendency towards black and white thinking. When I feel good, it can feel like “this is it, I’ve cracked it, I know the secret to feeling like this,” and I feel on top of the world. Then when the wind of change comes, and I’m not feeling so great, which is completely normal, my thoughts can quickly shift to “oh no,I dont feel so good again” and I can easily begin to think that this is the new normal.
But the reality is, we all have ups and downs... that is life, and part of learning to trust the process is becoming more fluid with that... allowing the ups and downs, rather than attaching to either end of them, as ever it comes back to letting go, of our expectations, of ourselves, and of rigid thought processes.
Personally, this winter, felt more difficult than usual. I normally go away in December and get some winter sun, which helps carry me through the darker months. But this year, after having major surgery in October, I wasn’t able to fly. And I really noticed the difference in my frame of mind.
What helped me was talking to those around me, opening up about how I was feeling, good nutrition, moving when I could, and gently tracking my days. Not in a rigid or pressured way, but simply noticing, was it a good day, an okay day, or a more difficult one? At first, there were quite a few low days. Then some okay days began to appear, with the occasional good day here and there. And slowly, over time, that began to shift. Now, I’m noticing many more good days, with the odd okay day woven in.
Nothing dramatic. No sudden breakthrough... Just a gradual change.
And this is often how change happens, not in big, dramatic shifts, but in small, almost unnoticeable movements over time, and when we look at nature, it makes sense.
In April, things are becoming more visible, the light is stretching out in the evenings, and buds are peeking their way through on the trees. The world is waking up with more colour and more light.
But even now, the weather doesn’t fully settle, and growth doesn’t either. There is still unpredictability, still fluctuation, and yet… things are still growing.
I can feel that alignment in myself, too. More energy, more light, and more motivation to start putting things into place again as I'm waking up and shaking the winter off. Recently, I joined an live online fitness class in the mornings, which really helps me feel part of something, connected and ready to take on the day. Getting outside for a walk, feeling the sunshine on my face, and making the most of the lighter days has also lifted me.
Some weeks, I manage it every day. Other weeks it might be three or four, but what I’ve learned is… I don’t beat myself up about that anymore. Because that is still consistent. Consistency doesn’t have to mean seven days a week. It means not giving up. It means starting where you are, not where you think you should be.
It’s about honouring yourself.
A waterfall begins with just one drop, and, over time, it becomes powerful and a force to be reckoned with. Water is one of the most powerful forces on earth, and we are made up of around 60% water. Drip by drip, things build. Small actions add up. Consistency becomes habit. And this is often what growth looks like. Not a dramatic transformation, but quiet persistence.
This is also where vulnerability comes in, something Brené Brown speaks about so powerfully. Not vulnerability as weakness, but as the willingness to stay present with ourselves, even when things feel uncertain or unfinished.To keep going, even when it feels unclear. To take the first step, even if you can't see the rest of the stairway.. To trust that something is shifting, even if you can’t yet fully see it.
You might recognise this in yourself if you feel like you’re in between where you were and where you want to be. If progress feels inconsistent, or you find yourself questioning whether anything is really changing at all.
If that’s the case, you’re not alone... This is often what growth feels like.
So perhaps the question isn’t “am I there yet?”
But instead…
- What in your life might still be quietly growing, even if you can’t fully see it yet?
- What small step or action could you take this week that signals movement, even if it feels tentative?
- Think of a recent “setback” – what might it be teaching you about resilience, learning, or your own process?
Because sometimes, the most important shifts are the ones happening beneath the surface. And whether that’s building healthier routines, taking care of your wellbeing, or even reaching out for support… We don’t have to wait until we’re in crisis. I often think of how we regularly take our cars for an MOT to make sure they’re roadworthy, yet so often we don't give the same importance to our mental health, often waiting until things feel overwhelming before checking in or taking action.
It doesn’t have to get to that point.
Learning to trust the process isn’t about having certainty. It’s about allowing things to unfold, being patient with yourself, and staying with the journey... even when it feels messy.
If something in this resonated with you, therapy can offer a gentle space to explore that, at your own pace.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to begin.
Warmly,
Emma
Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Therapy with Emma
Photo credit: Emma Kenmuir.
The photo shows a waterfall in the woods behind Chatsworth House.
The Quiet Courage of beginning again | Therapy with Emma
Published March 12, 2026
In January we explored the idea that perhaps the pressure of “new year, new me” doesn’t always sit comfortably with the reality of winter. January is still a time of darkness, rest and slower energy, and sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is honour that rather than push against it.
In February, we turned our attention to the relationship we have with ourselves. Self-love can sometimes feel like a buzzword, but in reality, it often begins with something much quieter… noticing the way we speak to ourselves and beginning to soften that inner voice.
As March arrives, something subtle begins to shift again.The daffodils start injecting some much-needed colour back into the world. Lambing season brings the gentle joy of new life after the cold winter months. The days stretch out a little longer, yet the weather still teases us with one lovely warm day here and there before reminding us that winter hasn’t quite finished yet.
For me, March is when things begin to stir... but nothing is fully in bloom yet, and in many ways, it reminds me of the therapeutic journeys I often walk alongside my clients. I often find that I can see the growth beginning long before they can. At first, it might look like one good day in the week. Then perhaps two. Slowly, almost without noticing, something begins to shift. Over time, the balance changes until eventually it becomes two difficult days in the week rather than five or six. And then perhaps just the occasional hard day appears every now and again.
Growth rarely happens in a dramatic moment; more often, it unfolds quietly.
Watching the lambs take their very first steps always makes me smile at this time of year. Their legs look far too long for their tiny bodies, and those first few steps can be wobbly and uncertain. They stumble, steady themselves, and then try again.
Change for us can feel a little like that too.
Those first steps towards doing something differently can feel unfamiliar, unsteady, and even a little uncomfortable. We might question ourselves, lose our balance slightly, or feel unsure of the ground beneath us... But those small, unsteady steps are still movement.
March, to me, represents those early signs of change. Small shifts, emerging energy, tentative hope. A sense that something new might be possible, even if we’re not quite there yet. For many people, this time of year can also bring a subtle pressure. As the days grow longer, we might feel a sense that we should be doing more or getting our lives together.
But growth doesn’t work like that, nature doesn’t rush.. and neither do we.
There is something about March that feels like coming out of emotional hibernation. The light is returning, yet the mornings can still feel cold. Everything is slowly finding its rhythm again. Emotional change often looks exactly the same.
Real growth rarely arrives with fireworks or grand declarations. More often, it shows itself in small, meaningful moments.It might look like setting a boundary for the first time. Saying no when you would normally say yes. Taking a walk when your mind feels heavy. Speaking honestly about something you’ve been holding inside. Or even booking that first therapy session.
These things may seem small on the surface, but small movements are often where real change begins.
For me personally, growth over the past six years has rarely been linear. Six years ago, I ended a relationship which left me extremely cautious about entering into something again. At times, it felt like the longest winter of my life. But slowly, over time, something has begun to soften.
I can feel myself lowering my defences, coming back to myself, and becoming more open. At the same time, whilst softening in one area of my life, I have also become firmer in another; I'm much better at honouring myself and not people-pleasing. I have become more mindful about where I invest my time, energy and love — choosing to place it where it is reciprocated and, most importantly, where it is genuinely appreciated.
And if I’m honest, the only person who has really been holding me back at times… is me. Which is often the case for many of us. That shift hasn’t happened overnight. It has taken time, reflection, and patience with myself.
You may recognise some of this in yourself if you’ve been feeling stuck for a while, but sense something beginning to shift. Perhaps some days feel lighter than they used to, even if progress still feels slow. Or maybe there is a quiet part of you wondering whether it might be time to do something differently.
These gentle shifts are often where meaningful change begins.
Reflection prompts:
- What small change in your life feels ready to begin? Not the big life overhaul, just the next step.
- If you spoke to yourself with kindness, what would you allow to grow slowly?
Sometimes we don’t need to change everything all at once. Often, what we need most is a safe place to pause, reflect, and understand ourselves a little more deeply.. Growth unfolds at its own pace.
If something in this article resonated with you, therapy can offer a gentle place to begin exploring it.
If you’re noticing patterns in your life that you’d like to understand more deeply, or you feel ready to begin making small changes, I offer one-to-one therapy in a warm, non-judgemental space. Together, we can explore what is going on for you and move at a pace that feels right.
Warmly,
Emma
Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Therapy with Emma
Photo credit: Ruth Mulvany
The Journey Back to Loving Ourselves | Therapy with Emma
Published February 1, 2026
As February arrives and Valentine’s Day approaches, the subject of love feels unavoidable. Cards, flowers, and messages about romance and connection surround us. We’re encouraged to show love to partners, friends, and family… but how often do we pause to consider the relationship we have with ourselves?
For many of us, the journey towards self-love doesn’t begin with loving ourselves at all. It often starts with people-pleasing patterns. Putting others first, saying yes when we really mean no, or measuring our worth by how helpful, kind, or accommodating we can be. Somewhere along the way, we lose that connection with ourselves, and our own needs quietly slip to the bottom of the list.
People-pleasing is rarely about weakness. More often, it’s about safety, belonging, and early experiences that may have taught us that love or approval came through being “good,” easy, or useful. Over time, this can leave us feeling drained, resentful, or disconnected from our true selves. We give and give yet feel oddly empty.
Alongside this, many of us carry a strong inner critic. This inner voice can be harsh, demanding, or shaming, pushing us to do more, be more, or never quite feel good enough. Often, it developed as a way of protecting us... helping us stay accepted or avoid rejection. But over time, it can erode confidence and keep us stuck in cycles of self-doubt and self-sacrifice.
For me, the journey to loving myself has been a slow one. It began with treating myself with the care and attention that I deserve, noticing and working with my inner critic, and learning to be okay with myself. Over time, I focused on understanding my values and ensuring that my actions aligned with them. I noticed that when I lived in accordance with what mattered to me, I liked myself more, building that self-esteem (after all, as a wise lady reminds me.. if you want to have esteem, you have to do esteemable things). Now, I am transitioning into truly loving myself, and it remains an ongoing, evolving relationship.
Being kind to myself... in words, thoughts, and actions, is how I practice self-love day by day. It’s not about perfection, but about showing myself the same care and warmth I offer others.
Recently, I’ve done this by honouring myself, my time and the care I show myself in more practical ways. I noticed I had become a constant slave to my phone, so I decided to introduce "office hours" and give myself the gift of time at the beginning and end of the day to switch off and recharge. I now wait until after 8 am to respond to messages, giving myself time to meditate and write a gratitude list. I also have a clear cut-off in the evening for answering work emails and messages.
I know, and deeply appreciate, that I have to give to myself first before I can give to others. In doing so, I lead by example for my clients, showing how gently and intentionally taking time for yourself can become an act of care rather than something to feel guilty about.
The shift towards liking ourselves can feel unfamiliar and, at times, uncomfortable. It may begin simply with noticing when we override ourselves or gently questioning the guilt that shows up when we choose rest, boundaries, or honesty. Liking ourselves doesn’t mean we stop caring about others. It means we begin to include ourselves in the care we so freely give.
Self-love isn’t a destination or a permanent feeling. It’s a relationship, one that grows through compassion, curiosity, and patience. Some days, loving yourself might look like firm boundaries. Other days, it might look like softness, rest, or forgiveness. It’s about learning to relate to yourself with warmth rather than criticism.
Reflection prompts:
- Does your inner critic speak to you in the same way you would speak to a friend who was struggling?
- Where in your life do you notice yourself giving more than you have to give, and what might it be like to pause there?
- What small daily practices could help you show yourself the care and attention you deserve?
Self-love doesn’t arrive overnight. It unfolds slowly, often quietly, through small moments of choosing yourself. If you’re noticing patterns of people-pleasing, self-criticism, or feeling disconnected from your own needs, therapy can offer a supportive space to explore this gently and at your own pace.
If this resonates and you’d like support on your journey towards greater self-acceptance and self-love, I offer one-to-one therapy in a warm, non-judgemental space. Together, we can explore your relationship with yourself, work with self-criticism and boundaries, and move at a pace that feels right for you.
Warmly,
Emma
Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Therapy with Emma
Navigating the New Year Without Pressure | Therapy with Emma
Published January 6, 2026
The start of a new year is often painted as a time for transformation, goal-setting, and boundless energy. Everywhere we look, social media and marketing cheer: “New Year, New Me!”
But if we look to nature, spring is the time when the world awakens from her winter slumber, like the tree in the picture above, reaching for the blue sky but still bare of leaves. Her energy lies deeply rooted in the earth and won’t emerge until spring. Why do we therefore want to adhere to the clock and pull ourselves out of hibernation and unnaturally spring into action at the beginning of the year?
Christmas can be a time of pressure, and January can still carry some of that weight for many. Dark, cold nights lie ahead and long gone are the twinkly lights that may have made us feel warm and all aglow. Add onto these societal pressures of "new year, new me" and goal setting can leave many feeling depleted before they start. For many, this month carries residual pressure and a sense of obligation to move before their own body and mind feel ready.
Just like nature, we move through seasons in our own rhythm. In winter, the world slows, resting and regenerating. Trees stand bare, their roots deep in the earth, quietly storing energy for the burst of life to come in spring. Yet society asks us to mimic the energy of spring before our own inner season has arrived. We are encouraged to leap into goals, habits, and change while we are still in the quiet, reflective phase of winter.
Winter is meant for slowing, reflecting, and conserving energy. There’s no need to force action before your roots are ready to push upward. Attempting to do so can leave you depleted and frustrated.
The “new year, new me” culture can inadvertently heighten feelings of inadequacy. Seeing everyone else seemingly “springing” into action can make it feel like we’re falling behind. But growth doesn’t happen on a fixed timeline. Just as the trees wait for spring, your own energy and motivation follow their own rhythm.
January can also stir emotional weight left from the festive period, whether family stress, financial pressures, or just the abrupt return to routine after the holidays. Adding societal pressures on top of that can make the month feel even heavier.
Following your own rhythm feels like freedom and alignment. For me, this means I never set an alarm. I go to bed at roughly the same time each night and allow myself to wake naturally, letting my body and mind get the rest they need. There’s a sense of trust in this rhythm, a recognition that my energy and focus work best when I honour my internal timing, rather than a societal schedule.
I don’t subscribe to New Year’s resolutions as if transformation only happens in January. Change doesn’t require a specific date; it happens when I feel ready, from a space of awareness and intention. I do like to have a few goals, but these are set from the space I am in at the time, grounded in what feels authentic and achievable, rather than a checklist imposed by the calendar.
Instead of rushing, consider using this time for reflection, intention-setting, and gentle self-care. You don’t have to achieve everything at once. Your “new year” can unfold naturally, in a way that honours your own internal season.
Reflection Prompt:
- Ask yourself: “What feels ready to emerge in me right now, and what needs more time to root and grow?”
- Observe your energy without judgment and give yourself permission to move at your own pace.
Remember, the first steps of growth often happen quietly, below the surface, just like the roots of a tree preparing to reach for the sky.
January doesn’t need to be about rushing or forcing change. It can be a time of gentle presence, reflection, and planning at your own rhythm. By acknowledging the natural timing of our inner seasons, we give ourselves permission to grow steadily, deeply, and sustainably—so when spring truly arrives, we can emerge fully ready.
If you’d like support navigating your own rhythm, managing pressure, or exploring personal growth in a safe, confidential space, I offer one-to-one therapy sessions tailored to your needs. Together, we can explore what’s ready to emerge, work with your energy and timing, and create a path that feels authentic for you.
Warmly,
Emma
Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Therapy with Emma